Penis Pumps and Ketogenic (high fat) Diets

Ketogenic diets are like penis pumps.  You hear they work, buuut, you’re a little too afraid to actually give it a go for fear of ridicule or potential injury.

While I didn’t spend my weekend alone after visiting a sex shop, I did spend the last 6 weeks attempting a ketogenic diet.

First: what is a ketogenic and why do I care?


  • Low carb (<50g / d), high fat (likely >200g / day) and reasonable protein (e.g. 0.7-0.8g / lb of body wt)
  • Why – your body burns fat when deprived of carbs.
  • Why 2 – you get to eat some things you normally think are “bad” and you still can lose weight and not feel like shit
  • Why 3 – there’s a ton of research out there, don’t expect me to summarize it here.  Check out this blog for some additional background info.
Second: What does this look like, day to day, for me:
  • 3 meals consisting of 25g protein, 60g fat and 15g carbs (or less)
  • 1 snack consisting of 15g protein, 60g fat and 14g carbs (or less)
Third: How do you get 60g of fat without going over on  protein?
  • Answer 1: eat fat only
  • Answer 2, more palatable: make fat bombs and butter coffee

Fat bombs became a staple for me since getting 60g of fat is really tough if you’re not eating a salad w high fat dressing at every meal.

Eat me.
Eat me.
 If you want to learn how to make these little treats, see my example and some help here.
Steve and the butter coffee
Steve and the butter coffee

If you want to learn how to make butter coffee, ask the internet.

 Fourth:  Where did I land post “diet”:
  • Honestly, I think I messed up a little.  I maintained the same weight, eating 2500 calories and working out 5x / week (crossfit), but I expected to drop more weight.
  • My gym performance didn’t suffer – that was a shocker!  Most people feel really groggy on low carb diets.  This is the first time I wasn’t exhausted all the time  and I think it actually came from getting the fat component right.  (read: eating enough)
  • My body composition  improved, but not so much as the Four Hour Body experiment (add link)
  • At week 1, my cholesterol labs remained well below recommended guidelines (Chol: 170, LDL: 65 HDL: 89 TG: 76) and were lower or stable with last years labs.
Fifth:  What could I have done better?
  • Eliminate more carbs?  Maybe, but my meals were pretty devoid of carbs.  I don’t think I really got into ketosis.  See below.
  • Remove more fake sugar.  There’s some data suggesting that sugar substitutes can cause insulin release and, in the keto world, that’s a bad thing.  So, fewer daily fat bombs, more salads.  Probably a good thing overall.
  • Add a protein shake each day to ensure carbs were as low as possible
  • Measure ketones w/ strips more regularly
  • Take glucose readings w a glucometer

Lastly – I consider this experiment a reasonable success.  My physique improved (but not as dramatically as I hoped, my gym performance was also still reasonable and I ate a TON OF DELICIOUS FAT and didn’t GET FAT.

News flash: fat by itself doesn’t make you fat.  It’s what you eat w that fat that REALLY MATTERS.

What’s next – we’re going to give The Zone another go according to some of the “Zone Blocks” literature.  Admittedly, it’s going to be a paleo-friendly approach to the zone, so the paleo people in the crowd can benefit too.

So, scoop a dick pump this weekend or consider a ketogenic diet to mix things up from your usual diet.  Don’t be afraid!


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We are busy. We are overbooked. We are traveling. We are unmotivated. We are tired. We are agitated. We are unproductive. We are overweight. We are unhappy. We are why. I'm a pharmacist, I travel regionally for work and have been all of these things. What elevates me from these emotional ditches? Good health. My nearly 100 year-old Italian grandmother "Nana" said a long time ago: "If you don't have your health, you don't have nothing." Considering she still rakes leaves and gives me hell for, well, just about everything, I think she's pretty damn sharp and fit. On the other end of the spectrum: My dad died at 65 from a heart attack. He was a diabetic, a previous smoker, a recovered drug addict, a food addict, hypertensive, arthritic, immobile nearing amputation and, simply, wasn't living. For all intensive purposes, I'm fit and healthy. Armed with degrees in biology and pharmacy (read: loans) and these two family stories, you'd think staying on track is easy. Newsflash: it's not. Traveling / Working / Fathering / Mothering / fill-in-the-blanking are obstacles we all have to overcome. So, how do we do it? Suitcase Fitness was born from the hope that by sharing my small health and fitness victories while traveling, others may be inspired to find new ways to stay engaged with their health. My vision is that others will use this venue to share their "baggage" and small steps taken to overcome health challenges. I get by with a little help from my friends. - The Beetles The things that last, never happen overnight. - Slaves

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